Nine days into September and I am late with my monthly post. I am moving slow. I have had three surgeries between my trachea and lungs this month. From August 10th my first surgery, August 25th, and yesterday on the 8th. I am not done yet. I have surgery in three weeks to get the stint removed from my lung and then maintenance surgeries like I get for my trachea. I am moving in the right direction. It is just a slow process. Dr. K. Took pictures of my lungs yesterday and they are looking so much better. Inflammation has gone done and my left lung is open and not collapsed anymore. The stint is doing its job. Yeah! This excites me. I just got my pathology report and no cancer is indicated in my lungs. This is good news too.
The last month has been crazy with a 16 days in the hospital between the ICU and regular hospital floor. I could not get all the carbon monoxide out on August 10th, so they put me on a ventilation for a couple of days on low pressure to get the carbon out. It is vital that we all get the carbon monoxide out after we breath in oxygen. If we don’t we suffocate. The RN came into my room and was not able to wake me up. Thank God that I was already in the hospital overnight after my laser dilation throat surgery. It was not fun being tied to the bed for 16 days and not being able to get up to use the regular toilet, but had to use a bedside commode. The first PT therapy guy that came in pissed me off because he had no faith in me about getting out of bed and keeping strong. If you know me, you know that I am stubborn and you can’t tell me what I can and cannot accomplish. So, I used this as a reminder and an opportunity to keep my legs as strong as I can while tied to every single wire known to man. I got out of bed and sat up. I am still wobbly as I build up my endurance and leg muscles at home, but it would have been worse if I just laid in bed and felt sorry for myself. While in the ICU, I did not read anything. I had the books, but I felt like my brain needed a break. So I focused on breathing and watched movies they had on the TV there. I was surprised what movies they had available on their TV there. I got my stint put in on August 25. Dr. K. Had to do research and order everything she needed so that took a lot of time. I would rather she be thoroughly and smart the first time then just play it by ear and make mistakes. That is one of the things I love about Dr. A too. Now I have more than one of these out of the box thinkers on my medical team. I am blessed.
I started thinking about turtles, how they move slow. Slow and steady wins the race. Slow and steady keeps you moving. I am moving slower than I have before. I have always been fast. Now, I have to think about every step and action that I have to take so that I am not falling or tripping over my hoses or my own feet. I am working on not allowing this to frustrate me and cause me to become an angry and bitter person. I am using this as an opportunity to slow down and appreciate the slowness of a turtle and the miracle that I am still able to move at all even if it something I have to think about before I make my moves. I have been using the phrase moving like a herd of turtles, this is my new motto. I now need to purchase a T-shirt and a plaque for my wall with this motto to keep reminding me. I bought myself turtle fairy lights. I collect turtles and butterflies now to remind me of the messy and beauty of life. That is is slow, but also chaotic and messy but beautiful at the same time.
So my goals for September are simple:
* I am focusing on healing. I had three operations in a month and I will be going for a fourth one at the end of September.
* I am reminding myself to slow down and appreciate the slow movements.
* Read some of the books off of my to be read pile. I have a lot of great choices now.
* Slowly go through all the piles left over from my apartment rearrangement. This is going to take me a long time. I am okay with that.
*I have a couple of zoom doctor appointments this month.
* keep my wounds on the right healing journey with the RN
* get back to journaling and my planner.
Keep breathing. Push that carbon monoxide out of your lungs.
Please wait...