May went by fast, but it was also a complicated month for me. A lot went on in my life this month.
First, I was supposed to have lung surgery on the 12th. It did not happen. The doctors could not get their stuff together. I am still waiting for the new date for a lung balloon dilation surgery. However, I did start my Rituximab infusions. Yesterday was round two. I had to skip it twice because of the supposedly surgery I was going to get. Being a chronically ill person you learn to manage and manipulate your schedule. It is overwhelming at times, but I asked for help. I now have an registered nurse who comes in once a week to help me handle the side effects that are happening with my Prednisone and I am considering making this a permanent arrangement. It has helped my mental health greatly. I am thankful I have options for help. I am still learning and navigating this new season in my life. I feel stronger right now than I did at the beginning of May and at the end of April. The treatments I am enduring are making a difference and the support I am receiving is helping.
I celebrate my birthday this year. I was iffy about it at the beginning. I made the choice to celebrate anyway. I watched Disney Plus. I woke up that morning and did my routine sheet mask while I watched the new Chip N Dale movie. I loved it by the way. Then later, I popped popcorn on my stove and watched Black Widow with my oldest sister. She was in her home watching and I was in my home and afterwards we connected on chat and discussed what we watched. I love that experience and we made the choice to do this together every Friday night, starting with the Star Wars stuff on Disney Plus. The new Obi movie comes out and we are both excited about it. I am finding I am craving more connecting experiences with people than anything else right now. This is a good way that I get to connect with one of my sisters and now I get to discover how to connect with the others in my life. Then I got to chat with my friends and other family members. I enjoyed my birthday, quiet. I reflected in a new journal and it was a good day.
Here are the goals I chose for May, some of them went amazing and some not so much:
* 4 Rituximab Infusions: I just received my second infusion yesterday. I had to postpone two of them because of the possibility of lung surgery. Will be receiving two more infusions in June.
*4 Hirentza Infusions: This went well. I got them done. Even ordered more of the medicaiton.
* Lung dilation surgery: I was supposed to have a balloon dilation of my lungs on May 12th. Did not happen, because the doctors did not communicate well and it has been postponed. I was more than disappointed. No, I was pissed. I was flabbergasted. I was lost for words at how inept some individuals are. I also felt betrayed. The one doctor downright lied to me. I hate that.
* Write one article for Wellness Works NW: I did not accomplish this. I only have part of an article. I have been distracted by health issues that I needed to find my balance with first.
* After surgery read through my book the Practice of Suffering and start editing and rewriting: I did not follow through. The surgery did not happen, then all sorts of issues starting happening with my body concerning the Prednisone. Finally, after a month and a half I am finding a balance.
* Write one non-goal article and book review for Jamie Chases Butterflies: I accomplished this goal. Yeah.
*Log food choices: I have wanned and got off track with this. Because of my wonky blood sugar levels I have been eating more than I normally do. It was too much to log it. I aim to do better in June.
* Color in the evening: Did not do this. I will though.
* Read a chapter in a book: I did more than this. One of the choices I made is while I am receiving my Rituximab infusion in the hospital. It takes 9 hours I have chosen to take 2 books with me to read while getting it done. I also bring a notebook to write. I finished 4 books during the two infusions. The only electronic I take with me is my cell phone and my electric wheel chair. I like it because it helps my mental state. I am calm and relaxed. Every thing just seems to go smoother. I need more calm, relaxed, and smooth in my life.
* Meditate, breathe, listen to my soul: I have done this. I have Spotify and so I have been looking up play lists of healing music. I found some great ones on Body Scan Meditations, a Chakra healing one and healing drumming music. Not only that but music that promotes good sleep and a nature one that has ocean and forest and other water sounds. I have started playing calming music at night when I am wanted a calm and relaxing environment. This has helped me a lot. Nicholas seems to enjoy it too. Happy cat, happy life.
I am glad May is almost over with and I can begin a new month with new goals and a better assessment of what my body is doing. The Rituximab is working, so is the high dosage of Prednisone with my breathing, I just wish the side effects weren’t so bad.
Happy Memorial Day Everyone!
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