Oh, my goodness, January just bit the dust. That went by fast, didn’t it? This month I spent a lot of time contemplating how my focus word is going to play out. Just a reminder my focus words for 2022 is RECOVERY! I am out of remission, and it is affecting my lungs and other parts of my body. I have been put on permanent oxygen since I got out of the hospital at the end of November. That is a bit of the background information.
January, I had a quiet New Years eve and day. I slept, I watched a couple of Disney movies, I read, I filled in my new planner and set my intentions for January, and I just rested. I needed that. I set 6 intentions for January. They were:
- Meditation 3 days a week
- Bible Study daily
- Drink 2 liters of water a day
- Get a new blood sugar monitor.
- Finish Sunrise and post book reviews for 3 books this month.
- Sage/smudge my home
I am happy to report I did all but two of these things. Water consumption is a challenge for me right now and I have not started meditation/breathing exercises. I talked to my counselor about meditation/breathing exercises, and he is doing research on how to do this with a trach patient (me). Breathing exercises are a bit different with a trach tube. I got to find my mojo with it.
I finally got my first vaccine on Thursday, and I was pleasantly surprised. It did not feel any different than a flu shot, or the shingles shot, or the pneumonia shot. With the way everyone was complaining I thought it was going to be full of pain and discomfort. It was no different from my other symptoms from my illnesses. I am hoping the second shot will be the same. I’m crossing my fingers. It feels good to get the vaccine, so that I can start participating in public more without being overly cautious. I will always be cautious, but right now, I am not even going to the grocery store or anywhere but my apartment or outside to get my mail.
I sometimes feel pathetic with my chronic illnesses. I am not able to participate in life or talk on the phone to people or connect like healthy people do. It makes me sad. I feel alone a lot of the time. I am not sure how to approach this or accept that this is now apart of my life. It hurts when I get rejected or when someone is so scared of my health condition or so annoyed because I cannot do something because of my condition. I do not blame them for their annoyances or emotions surrounding my health. It just hurts that I am rejected. That is what it feels like to me. I have never talked about how I feel about it before, but right now, I am raw with the emotions of yet again being rejected. After crying, I realize that I cannot live in victimhood, and I will move forward with my goals. I do have several close friends and family who are their for me, so I am not alone.
February goals are simple. I am tired of all the clutter in my own and I will be working on deep cleaning and organizing and getting rid of things that I have no use of. That is the biggest goal. My other goals include:
Writing a few people in my life cards
Drink a cup of tea daily (I have not been doing this and I miss it.)
Make 3 doctor appointments.
Get my power chair and my freedom back 😊
Get my second vaccine shot.
Remember to keep breathing and being thankful! That is what I will be as I enter February with love and thankfulness. Be well!
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