“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” Louise Hay
I feel so behind on my personal blogging that I decided to start over. Starting over means starting at a where I am at, at this moment. The last three months have been a challenge with me medically. I have not shared much on it, because I am overwhelmed by it all. If you are my friend or follow me on Facebook, then you have read snippets of some of the new changes going on. When I am overwhelmed, I disappear into my own mind. It is both a curse and a blessing. I am ready to immerge. I am ready to share.
I will start by explaining why I am feeling overwhelmed. In the middle of 2021 through bloodwork, it was discovered the my IGG levels were extremely low. I was sent to an Immunologist to help me boost my levels. Since May of 2021 I have been receiving IVIG treatments through an IV. Three weeks ago it was changed to Hirentza where I stick two needles in my belly and then let the medication slowly pump into my fat. It takes two hours to do this. I must do this once a week. I had to learn a whole new set of skills. This is nothing like giving myself insulin injections. I poke and leave in two needles one on each side of my belly and tape it down for two hours like you would an IV. I must prime the tubing that goes from the medication syringe into my belly. I must use a flashlight to see the medication through the tubing. I have a new level of respect for the RN’s who do this daily. It is not easy to see or do. This is one of the life changing things that is overwhelming. Another one, is my breathing is getting worse and getting surgery is a challenge because of Covid-19 and the hospitals being overwhelmed. My electric wheelchair who I affectionally call Charley is not working, so I am in the process of trying to get another one. Then one of my beloved sister/friends has been diagnosed with cancer is going on her own medical adventure. Life is not promised to be stable and stay the same, so I am flexible. But when the changes happen in a rapid succession this leaves me feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
I am starting to go over 2021 and the word I chose for this year, intentional. And I am thinking about what I want 2022 to look like for both my blog, medical life, personal life, relationships, and Wellness Works NW. I will be dedicating once a week to writing a report about how my week is going. I need this for myself, so I am accountable for myself and the choices I am making. I have a friend who makes her own bullet type of journals. Now that I have a whole slew of new things to keep track of for my health I need a journal/planner that works for that. I have not found any that I love enough to keep using. I need more than one planner. One for my medical appointments and appointments in general and another to keep track of my medical stuff and yet another for my writing assignments for my blog and for Wellness Works NW, that is three of them. I have a giant 3 ring binder and with the advice of my friend I will be drawing out and creating my own one giant planner that will work for me. It will be flexible. I need it to be able to grow with me as I discover what I truly need in my planner. I also need it to be functional. That is my update for this week. Until next week. Remember to keep breathing!
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