You probably noticed that I have not been writing on my personal blog lately. In fact, I haven’t written anything since April. Yet, I have been writing. Writing for Wellness Works NW the company I write and research for. I have been feeling overwhelmed since the whole Covid-19 thing came into existence. Then a whole slew of things started happening both worldly and personally. Life has changed and I’m not the only one whose life has changed this year.
I chose the word follow through for my focus word of 2020. My follow through has failed completely. Some of it was because of my own decisions and some was because the others. I was doing well until March hit and then my weight loss surgery was cancelled because of Covid-19. I was disappointed. I felt like all the hard work I have been doing was worthless. This was not the truth. My mind monsters were lying to me. Despite the cancellation I did complete three weeks of the milk diet out of the four that was required of me. I have lost 48 pounds so far and I am still losing. When I got the IUD put in it balanced out my hormones and now I am not retaining water, gaining weight, or overeating. I am excited about this outcome.
Covid-19 brought changes in my medical routine in that doctor appointments were changed to Zoom or on-line appointments including my counseling. I’ve liked this but I haven’t had my port flushed in several months when I have gone every month to get it flushed. I was scheduled to get it flushed when the air quality became hazardous and I had to cancel because of this. I will get this taking care of because my Rituxan infusion is due in October/November. Then my Rheumatologist left her practice and I had to get a new one. I went back to a previous one I have had who I like, but it was still a big change. Change seems to be the theme for 2020. A lot of changes have happened this year and those changes have left me feeling overwhelmed.
It first started with the Covid-19 virus and the way it could impact my life. Fear almost became my friend, but then I remembered that I have been living in isolation because of the medication that I currently take and I know how to prevent myself from getting sick. That is to wash my hands, tell people not to come around me when they are sick, and not go out unless I had to. I already have lived like this the last 11 years.
Because fear became a pandemic my doctor appointments stopped and were cancelled including the one I have been working towards for the last two years. Weight loss surgery didn’t happen. Now that I think about it maybe it was a God thing. Because since then I have had a couple of my friends who have had serious complications from having weight loss surgery, although, they went to Mexico to get it done. Since March, and no surgery happened to help me lose the weight I need to for my health I have started losing weight. In October I got an IUD and it has balanced my hormones and I have easily lost 48 pounds so far and I have not been overeating because of it. I’m thinking to myself that I would rather do it on my own if I can and do it without having to have another complicated issue to work with in my body. I have enough. I do desire to lose weight, because it would help my breathing and I want to be able to move easily and to accomplish a lot more than I do now.
I’m still trying to find how to get back on my schedule for medical appointments such as getting my port flushed, I haven’t had it flushed since April and also scheduling my next Rituxan infusion which is due soon. And I’m working through my fear of the flu season and getting my flu shot and preparing to hunker down.
I’ve been listening to a lost of music because I got tired of watching the news and listening to the panic on the TV. Here are a few artists that I have discovered:
I’m going to get back into the practice of writing for my blog again and not take so long between posts. Until next time, keep breathing!
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