I have been procrastinating writing a blog post. I got out of the practice when I had the hiatus while waiting for my new internet server to arrive. I went two months without internet and I didn’t write anything. I lost my rhythm for my life that I had created for myself. Now, I’m working on establishing what that will look like now that I have internet at home. I am still getting used to not having to go somewhere else to check my email and post on my blog. It feels strange.
A lot happened during those two months, I finally have my surgery date for the gastric sleeve. It’s on the fourth of February. I’m excited and nervous all rolled into one big emotion. I will be starting the milk diet on January 14th. I am not looking forward to this painful part of the journey. I’m taking Paul’s advice in Phillippians 3:14 where he pressed on towards the prize. I am reminding myself what my prize will be. I have made my decision that my word for 2020 will be follow through because of this scripture in Phillippians. I will be writing about why I am choosing this word in my next post at the end of the year in the next two weeks. (Hard to believe)
While I am waiting for January 14th to get here to start my new way of life I have been evaluating how to change my environment so that I am successful and how I will be talking to myself as I walk through this challenging process of changing how I eat and move my body. Follow through is hard for me sometimes. I let fear get in the way of my success, especially when it comes to moving my body. As many of you know, I have a breathing issue and moving is a challenge and if I am honest with myself I have let that derail me in many ways. I can’t let that happen this time, I am stepping out in faith that I am being led to the path of the gastric sleeve for a reason. My surgeon and I talked and he doesn’t want to do the gastric bypass because of my complicated and dangerous medical history. I can understand this. So, I am getting the sleeve which doesn’t have a high success rate because I will be able to eat normally but I have to keep my portion sizes small and my caloric intake low and move my body more than I do now. In my mind, if I am going to spend so much time and painful experiences to get the surgery than I want it to be successful and that means I have to do the work necessary to do this. Thankfully, I have a counselor who is helping me with the process and I have support. I just have to change my mindset. That means making new habits and following through in those new habits. It also means that I have to start looking at it as my journey and no one else’s and I can’t compare myself to anyone else either. That is a bad habit I have, especially when it comes to movement of my body. I will write more on my journey and how it is going as I meander through the process of changing how I view food and movement.
I will start writing and posting again. I promise.
Breathe well my friends…. Merry Christmas!
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