2017 is almost over. Hard to believe. Time moves faster and faster as I get older. Although, it moved fast a lot of wonderful things have happened to make my 2017 a blessing to me. I am positive 2018 will even show more moving forward when it comes to my health.
Last year at this time, I just received the devastating news that I will be living with a trach for the rest of my life. That there is no hope for a new trachea or a cure for my stenosis. I just had to learn to live with it. I felt hopeless, overwhelmed, angry, attacked, and most of all worn out by the whole sum of my circumstances. I also felt lost. I didn’t know who I was anymore. That happens when one gets a diagnosis of a chronic condition that they have no control over. I lost a sense of my identity. That is why I choose IDENTITY as my focus word for 2017. I needed, desired, wanted to find the total sum of who I am now. I wanted to see what I could still do, what I can learn to do, and if I was still loveable. Turns out, I am still loveable. That I am stronger than I thought I could be. It also turns out that Jesus loves me no matter how weak, or how much mucus comes out of my trach or mouth, and most of all I could be in the biggest pit of pain and he will still try hold on to me and comfort me. It is hard to fathom when dark becomes your normal that hope is there too.
I learned a lot about myself this year, I learned a lot about God this year. I learned to let go and to accept my condition without being angry or bitter.
I’d like to share with you a couple of the great books that I read this year that touched on Identity.
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