Things do not change. We change.   Henry David Thoreau

Another month just flew by. I am amazed how as I have grown older how quickly time flies by. July has been a learning experience for me. I have learned that I am not that great at finances and keeping track of every penny I spend. I have also learned that I have trusted the wrong people to come into my home in my past. This week I have been combing over years of my bank statements trying to decipher what I have purchased and what each item is. It’s a huge job, I aim to do this monthly so that no more surprises creep up. I have been a bad manager and it is time to focus and give my finances as much attention as I give my medical issues.

I have been so focus on my medical life that I have not been investing in my financial side. Both are equally valuable.  I made a financial binder and now have a place to keep all my finance records in. This week I have been making a list of necessities of my life and will fine tune that list. I live on disability and after rent and electric there is not much left over. I want to be a person who lives within her means.

As for my medical, I met up with my nutritionist and she asked me to count carbs. This means when I write what I eat daily I have to include how many carbs is in the meal. I am to aim for 2 to 3 carbs a meal. I find it annoying, but I am doing it anyway. I have also made an eye appointment and a dentist appointment for August and September. I have also gone in for physical therapy. I am sad to say that I have lost strength and muscle in both legs, but my right leg is the worse. The pain I feel in my lower back and legs are because I am sedentary. I sit a lot due to the fact that I lack the ability to breathe well because of my stenosis. The Pt guy suggested I walk and I was like how in the world am I to do that when I lack oxygen? He didn’t have the oxygen. However, he gave me some leg exercises to do at home while I am laying on my bed or floor and one while I am standing to help my hamstring muscles that are tight. I felt disappointed. However, I did discover that the tens unit worked for me when I put it on my lower back with heat. That means I need to get me another one since I gave the one I reviewed to my sister because it gave her relief. Since the Pt therapist didn’t seem interested in helping me, I am on a quest to find leg strengthening exercises that will help. This is my next research project.

Yes, I am going in for number 120 tracheal bronchial dilation surgery. My trachea is tight again. Speaking and moving well is harder because of the tightness. I am coughing more than usual, my voice stops working (I hate this) and my stoma is more painful than normal. The big telling sign is when my ENT couldn’t fit the tiny scope down in trachea. It hurt badly when he did. Wednesday I am going in. I am not looking forward to it. Yes, it will be amazing to get oxygen properly again, but getting naked and lying on a steel table on this tiny table with people wrapping all sorts of gadgets on you is not my idea of a fun time. I will move forward and get it done. The good part is coming home snuggling with my boy and seeing a couple of friends who will be coming by.

This is all I can think of sharing you. Keep breathing, moving forward, and loving yourself.

Until next time, Jamie