The Growth In Pain

Growth is a process, an unending process, they teach us: Reflect on the pain. Discern its origin. Find models whose own experience can help to reconstruct its meaning. And, most of all, understand that confession-the unburdening of the past-is never too late. On the contrary, confrontation of the unfinished parts of ourselves and self-revelation is forever they key to freedom from the past as well as freedom for the future. Joan Chittister

The sun is out, it’s been awhile since I have seen the sun here in the Pacific Northwest. I have my sliding glass door open, for the fresh air, and Nicholas my beloved cat is sitting contently by the screen watching the birds. I hear a bird singing happily her praises.

I started my pain management classes this week. It’s a bit exhausting as I have to go three days in a row and there is no time for resting in between. I’m not complaining. I’m rather enjoying my new busyness schedule and I am grateful that I at least get 4 days to rest during the week.

This week I met others who are going through their own battles of figuring out what and how they are going to live their lives fully. The interesting piece, for me is that I met a few men who are doing art therapy, pain management therapy, and even going to a support group. Yesterday, at support group I listened as men talked more than women and they shared their struggles. From listening, I learned that men have the same issue of allowing others to help them or even asking for help when they need it. I thought, that is how women behave also. We often times think that men are so different than men in their thinking, but in reality they are not. I found that men are caretakers, maybe in a different way, but they are caretakers, they also have a nurturing about them, and they even have a hard time taking care of themselves. It was a bit of an eye opening experience for me. I’m finding that it helps me to step out of my own pain and struggles and look through a lens of someone else’s journey with a chronic condition.

This weeks, I also started taking a B12 supplement. I’m already noticing a difference in my nerve pain in my feet. It’s a small pill and it is easy to swallow. I’m grateful for that. Sometimes I get gigantic pills that are hard for me to swallow. With my small trachea it is hard to swallow big things, I end up getting something stuck and having to drink a ton of water.

I have received 6 cookbooks from my library that I plan on flipping through this weekend along with reading a couple of biographies that I got.

I hope you rest well my friends. Remember keep in breathing.