Recently I started having morning tea with a wonderful lady who lives in my apartment complex. What I enjoy about this lady is that she is a belly dancer, she is extremely creative, and she is a warrior. She struggles like we all do with her different health issues, but her aim is to live well just like mine. I respect her tremendously.
This is what my friend has to say:
“You don’t get better by telling yourself constantly I have to get better. I believe when you are saying I have to get better to yourself you are saying this because of the outside influences who solely concentrate on being healthy. What I mean by this is that you are wanting to be healthy by observing other or by being told critically that you need to be healthy. When you listen to these outside forces you end up moving one step forward and yet end up hitting a brick wall and going backwards quickly. Stop this. What I do to let go of others expectations of what my illness or healthy should be is by finding within myself what would bring me true joy. For me, that is belly dancing. The reason why? I wanted to belly dance since I was ten. I did not feel I would ever accomplish this dream because of my distorted body image. My self-esteem and confidence was absent. This is why I continue to fight my eating disorder of bulimia in the first place.
Through dance, I am learning that no matter what physical pain I may experience while dancing the joy that comes from dancing washes that negative pain and emotions that come with that pain away. Even though afterwards I am exhausted, emotionally I am calm and at peace and I sleep much better. If I don’t dance I would be an anxious mess. My body would be tied up in knots and that would cause my anxiety to be worse. The pain would cause me to drink and do drugs to cut the pain. I don’t need that back in my life anymore.
When I start feeling physical pain or feeling anxious I put on my belly dancing music and I start imagining myself dancing. It brings a sense of relief, calm, and peace to my soul.
I know that finding one thing to focus on that you think you cannot do and trying it out could possibly bring you the most joy, peace, and confidence you will have forever. Get out of your mind I have to get better or be perfect to do things. That is not the truth. Stop obsessing over the expectations of others and start finding your own joy in your life. Once you stop and you let go. You end up finding this new activity that makes you feel better about yourself. Allow joy to reign. Bring joy instead of negative junk because of your illness. WE make our own joy. Don’t be afraid to fall on your face. Be willing to learn. Be willing to take a risk. Be willing to enjoy yourself. “
Shlea, didn’t want to use her real name, so I will not have any links to how to contact her. If you have any questions or comments for her just comment below and I will share them with her.
Be well my friends!
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