Life Happens

This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle: We are given one life and the decision is our whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live. General Omar N. Bradley

Genesis 50:20

As for you, you thought evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring about that many people should be kept alive, as they are this day.

This week I got to experience being in battle. My battle isn’t with bombs, guns, or solders. I’m fighting my own body with my Wegener’s, Diabetes, unexplained weight gain, and pain that comes and goes. This week has been challenging. My emotions are worn thin. As I write this post, it is Friday evening and I just spent 9 hours in doctor offices, imaging, or radiology. The first obstacle I faced is my new port. My port is only 3 months old and it is already causing me issues. My port flipped 90 degrees and make it impossible to be accessed for blood draws, flushings, or any IV I may need. Frustrating. I just got my port 3 months ago and now I’m having issues with it. What is going through my mind is why can’t things just go smoothly, why do I have all these problems. I know God has never promised me a rose garden as the old Lynn Anderson song goes.

Saturday morning, I went to bed early. I slept well. My body is out of whack and I have no idea what to do about it or how I should handle it or take care of it at this point. Forgiveness keeps springing into my mind. Should I forgive my body? Should I quite complaining and just accept that things happen and I just need to go through it with grace, kindness, and a sense of humor. As I write this morning, I’m still waiting on God for some answers. Next week is big for me, a Cat Scan of my belly to see what is going on and I start my physical therapy with the pain management rehabilitation program. Should I give up or should I keep on going? That is what is on my mind this morning. I’m sorry that I’m not able to be positive. I am positive at this time that if Jesus were to call me home, I have made peace with facing death already. I know that I will be with Jesus. I also know that most of my family knows that I love them and that I value them. There are 4 people who I would like to speak to, to show that I love them and value them. They have not let me show them that I do. I also know that I am supported, God has provided me with an awesome medical team. I experienced that awesomeness. I also have a great caregiver that has helped me way beyond the call of duty and I appreciate her for that. I also have an amazing family, and I know that I am loved and they know that I love them. I also have friends, whom I get to see this weekend, at least a few that I love dearly and they know that I value them. I will make it through. Even if my body look like I have been hit with a Mack truck. I still made it.

Be well, be still. Happy Easter. Or like my family likes to say Resurrection Day! Hug each other, be kind, and laugh a whole lot. And remember to take deep breathes throughout the day.