I am finally home from the hospital after I suffered another larynxspaspm during surgery. A larynxspaspm is when the airway suddenly closes up and spasms. Thankfully my ENT and my medical team knows that my airway has done this before, so they were prepared for it. I have had 3 spasms during 112 surgery. This was my 112^th surgery. I hope to have just one more surgery to fix my issues. I hope it will happen soon. I will be calling my ENT and setting up appointment in 2 weeks. Since my operation I have a 3 month time period to get things all setup and ready. That means I have to be on top of it like spit on a griddle.

The surgery was successful, no complications from the actual surgery. I had the spasm while I was waking up. Apparently, I communicate well when I am under stress. I can let them when I need help from my medical team. The best part is that my doctors listen to me. It feels wonderful to have doctors that trust me when I tell them I need help. I had to be incubated. Not fun at all. My throat is swore and raw from the incubation. Saturday, I was not awake all day and Sunday morning they took the incubation out. I remember that process well. It does not feel good at all. My trachea feels raw and tender. I woke up thinking that I had another trach. The jabbing pain in my trachea made me feel like I could have had another one slide into my trachea. Thankfully that was an illusion. My brother came to see me Saturday and I was so out of it that I didn’t wake up when he was holding my hand. I must have been knocked out well.

Here are some things that I learned about myself these last four days:

• I am a good communicator. I have learned to be this way since I started my journey with my trachea. It’s a valuable asset to have. Without being able to communicate no one knows when you need help or how to help you. Yes, it at times feels shameful, embarrassing and even exhausting. I know Jesus created us to be able to communicate with each other. I have to be the advocate for my medical team, that includes not only my doctors, RN’s, my caregiver, but also my family and friends.
• I have the best team in the world. From my amazing family, especially my brother Rob who came to see me while I was not able to acknowledge his present because I was out of it. He still held my hand anyway. That means a lot to me. From my sister in law who transports me to my medical surgery and stays there with me. To the wonderful RNS, CNA’s, doctors, and other medical professional people. They are all valuable to me.
• I had all male RN’s this time around. I learned that I can get along with men and not be scared of them. I have had a bad history with men and I now realize that I have come a long way. That feels pretty darn good. It felt good to be comfortable enough around them to show them my naked butt. You know what I mean ladies and gentlemen those ICU nightgowns they give you to wear. I liked that they told me jokes and shared with me what they are watching on Netflix while putting steroids into my IV which takes about 5 minutes to do. It helps pass the time. I like that they listen and I can see compassion in their faces while I am telling my story to them.
• I appreciate my home. I like being home. I like calm. I like quiet. I love being organized. I love sleeping in my own bed. Of course, I love my Nicholas too. Even though he was being a turkey last night since he was a bit peeved that I left him for a while. He is getting back to normal again. He is out from behind the couch.
• Jesus is amazing. Despite the drama, all things were possible because of Jesus. I made it through because created me to be who I am right now.

Links I”m sharing:

Larnyspasm