The Value of Time Alone

The last week in a half I have been off the Internet. The management had someone remove a giant cedar tree from the property and it somehow damaged the internet connection. Currently the internet is back on, but there is a big obstacle course. They are taking the carpet out and putting in tile on the floor. So, I won’t be able to go to the rec room and use the internet for at least another week, maybe longer. Who know?

So I had to stop making my videos, but I will work on making my third video for next week when I can get back on. I’m currently in the hospital getting my second infusion of Rituximab. Since it takes 6 to 7 hours, I thought I’d use my time posting my posts and checking email.

I have been thinking about being intentional in my life. I thought in a way I was. I decided to look up what choosing and intentional actually means. Here is what I found out:

Intentional means “a stretching of the mind, fixing your mind with deliberate purpose.” Choosing means “To select pick out, or elect.” Two different things, right? Choosing is a simple task of picking between an apple or an orange. Intentional means simply that you are deliberately eating the orange or apple.

I am stepping out in faith to do things differently in my life. I will be starting counseling and while I was getting my assessment. The lady said to me, I think you could have PTSD. Hmm, that gave me a jolt. I have had a lot of trauma in my life, not just the medical kind. My older sister has PTSD, along with anxiety. The counselor didn’t think I needed medication. I don’t believe I do either. I have a ton of pills to take daily and I do not want to add anymore. I want to intentionally direct my life to the purpose I was born to do. I said this to the lady too. I don’t want pool therapy to be a flop and I want to with purpose move my body, eat well, and living a well life. But somehow I have to direct and work through some emotional boundaries first.

I hope to keep writing articles and inspire all those I can. This is going to be a step by step process. I’m ready for the adventure.