Breathing one of the most important human thing that we do. Oxygen allows us to live. Oxygen allows us to move our bodies. We cannot do anything without oxygen, without breathing. Read Genesis 2:7, Then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath or spirit of life, and man became a living being.
Read this verse again, absorb what it is say. God formed us in dust, meaning we were just lying there, doing nothing. We weren’t talking, we weren’t speaking, and we weren’t walking around doing anything. We had no life. God breathed into our nostrils the breath or spirit of life. Meaning, that this breathe, oxygen, allowed us to become a being a living, talking, walking, and breathing person.
Since my breathing has become difficult with my tracheal stenosis I have a new found appreciation for my breathe of life.
You are probably wondering what a tracheal stenosis is? A tracheal stenosis is caused when the windpipe (trachea) narrows or becomes constricted. This narrowing makes air flow restricted resulting in stridor breathing. Stridor breathing is a loud, harsh, high pitched respiratory sound. To give a picture of my own windpipe, mine is the size of a straw. A normal size windpipe is bigger than that. The size of a quarter or a half dollar depending on your height and your sex.
Since 2009 I have had over 100 tracheal dilation surgeries. I am going in for my next one Friday the 12th, where while dilated they will laser out the scar tissue and inject a drug called Mitomycin-C into the area. Mitomycin-C is a cancer drug that they use to kill cells. Thankfully, I am not getting an infusion, they will be injecting this drug into the area after they cut off the scar tissue in hope that it will stop the scar tissue from growing back. If this does not work then the next step will be a resectioning surgery. I’m hoping this procedure will work for me.
To say I am nervous and a bit scared is an understatement. Since getting the phone call Friday morning, I have gone through a whole array of emotions. Here is why I am nervous, I’m nervous that I could end up with a trach again. Last March is when I got rid of my trach and I do not want it back. Two, this surgery could not be successful. I could end up having to have a resectioning surgery with the possibility of losing my voice. I have been fighting for my voice for years now and it would be a shame to lose it. Although, I know I do have options. Why am I scared? Well, I’m scared that this surgery will work and that means I will have to start doing the work. The work of exercising my body, going out in public again and accomplishing things. It means that I will be able to have a somewhat normal life. Although, I will always have a tracheal stenosis (a narrow and small trachea) I will be able to move and not sound so loud and scaring people. It means also that I can start dreaming of where I want my life to go and how I am going to get there. It means that God listened to my heart’s desire and that we conquered a big mountain.
This one operation has all my focus words this year, possible, open, and worship. I will be writing more about my experience with my surgery and what is happening. Along with other great articles that I will be writing for Chasing Wellness with Jamie. One step at a time. I know I don’t have to eat the entire elephant in one sitting.
Some great links in case you are interested.
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