I thoroughly enjoyed Reba Riley’s book “Post Traumatic Church Syndrome. I felt a kinship to this lady. I to have been burned by the church. I became wayward and unhappy with what I saw. But I also felt like God was nudging me towards something different. I read many books on the different religions of the world. But I never felt a deeper connection than the one I felt with my Christian one. You see I grew up in a fundamentalist religion where there was hell, fire, and brimstone talks every Sunday along with the chart that explained the different eras of the way of the world and how the world was going to end in a giant tribulation. It felt like a major guilt trip and fear based way of getting people to do what they wanted. I also hated how the women in my church was treated. Respect and kindness was not there. We were more like possessions than the way God intended us to be treated. I hated that. I wanted to get up and talk and voice my thoughts just as much as a man, but that wasn’t allowed.
In the church I was brought up in if my best friend who is a woman who happens to be married to a woman I would be expected to shun her and blast her with it’s a sin all the time. In my heart, I don’t believe her to be sinning. She is married and she is happy and they love each other. How could that be a sin? In my own journey, I find out, just like Riley did. That is okay to break apart from the religion aspects of the church and focus on what it was Jesus actually was about. Relationships that were healthy and full of love and respect and kindness. Not the fire, hell, and brimstone and not the judgement that seems to be playing in the church. I will be buying this book and giving a copy to my sister who is experiencing Post Traumatic Church Syndrome a lot heavier than I ever did. In fact, it’s a theme that plays in her head constantly. I’m still working through my issues, but I am finding it on my own and not being dictated too.
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Jamie I know that people being terribly hurt by people in churches is a real thing but I also don’t believe in spreading negativity. I am glad that God saw me through time away from the church so I could spend time with Him to heal on several personal, relational and church issues; but I am so thankful that He has also led me to a church where I can worship and have fellowship. Do I agree with everything that is said or taught, not always; but the reason we go to church is to build relationship and also to hear viewpoints that we would not come to on our own.
There are many churches that would shun my wife and I, but there are many more that embrace us in whatever concept they can grasp and I am glad to take the positive and focus on that instead of the insecurities. I must have compassion, while people judge me because Jesus had compassion on me. The bible does say that homosexuality is a sin, and a part of my relationship with Karen falls right in line with the definition I found in the dictionary of what being gay is.
What I really want to say is that I would love for you to find a church family because it is a different relationship than you will have have with friends, family and general public. There is an amazing power in corporate worship and so many opportunities to make friends or grow with each other.
We must not speak evil of the church because that grieves The Spirit. We must be forgiving of the people who don’t believe the way we do and continue to love each other…and even show others how to love. I know you are good at that; you taught your family to be affectionate.
I love you, Sister!
Summer, I hear what you are saying. One thing I do want to make clear church isn’t the building, but it is were two or more people are gathered under his Name that is biblical. That means we can go outside and worship God and learn something. If you were to read this book, you would see that this woman went to 30 different churches so that she can and would find love and God again. She even when to the church that burned her. I respect that. Recently I went to the church that burned me for a graduation party and the people made me feel judged and like an outcast. For now, until I am able to go to a church that shows kindness and respect along with criticism then I am best at home. I am not condemning Jesus’s church, but the weeds that seem to be in there and that need to be fettered out. I still pray and I have forgiveness for the men and women who have caused me pain, but I also know that causing pain is a part of relationship. Being hurt happens, but also asking forgiveness needs to happens too and rebuilding and reconciliation. I see a lot of painful posts on my Facebook page of angry people who are holding onto bitterness and who instead of letting go instead of use their mouths to verbalize that bitterness and anger. This book was not like that. I am not like that. I would love to get into a bible study and learn something different. Why do you think I purchase and do different types of studies of the bible? I am not opposed. My only options for a church is the same judgmental church that I was brought up in and I don’t want to go there.