It is hard to believe that June is almost here. Three days are left in the month of May. May was a crazy month for me. I had one of my older sisters staying with me for two weeks. It was a ton of fun but also stressful. I didn’t accomplish any of the goals I set for myself in May, but I did accomplish some things. One, my endurance and stamina is getting better. I got a peek meter and have been measuring my output. When I first started I could only measure at 130 normal breathing is 453, but now I can manage to 290-300. This tells me that I can be active and that my stamina can improve. I can still do things. I’m still struggling with how I sound to myself and to others. I still sound pathetic. I still sound like I am suffering. I’m not. I promise. It just sounds that way. I’m always going to have strydor breathing. It’s my norm. I’m struggling with accepting this aspect of my life. I hate making a horrible sounds while I am walking or doing things or even when I am sitting resting. It’s annoying. What can I do to change it? Nothing. I can only grow to accept and appreciate that I am still breathing and that I can still progress onto my goals and live my life. I know that God loves me passionately and I know I am here for an assignment that includes sharing my story and be who I am whether I am sounding like a moose in heat or a sweet angel.

My birthday was last week. I received a Nutri-bullet for my birthday. I love it. I only have used it once. But I hope to put it to good use this month. I realize two things. I have to be a better proactive planner when it comes to my exercise and to my eating. I need a plan. I need to use the tools that I have available to me. I cannot be passive anymore. I have a couple of friends and a sister that I can share my struggle with food with and my struggling with coming up with an eating plan with. I just know in my heart that I have to surrender to the fact that I cannot live and eat the way that I have been. It’s not working for me either. I know that eating inflammation free is the key, whatever that looks like for me. I do now know that tomatoes causes me deep pain. I have to avoid them and only occasionally enjoy a sweet home grown tomato. Thankfully, I don’t eat eggplant that often or peppers or even potatoes. Nightshades are not good for people like me. I’m learning to listen to my body. Sometimes I want to tell her to shut up, but I don’t because I know she needs to be heard too. That being said. I’ve been thinking about what my goals for June should be. I have to take into consideration that I am going in for my infusion treatment on June 5^th. That leaves me feeling extra tired for 2-3 weeks after the infusion. Planning is going to be key and also enlisting the help of my two caregivers.

So onto my goals for the month of June:

• Continue to use the weekly action plan that I learned in my “Living well with Chronic illness class”. I am taking my last class on June 2^nd. I learned a lot, plus I met some incredibly amazing people too. I also have decided to take the training program so that I can bring what I am learning to my hometown of Longview. I decided I cannot just be a complainer about the healthcare there. I have to be proactive and a changer. I am thankful I have a few people who are like minded like me. I look forward to revolutionizing Longview’s wellness with you Karen. We are going to rock it.
• With the help of my two caregivers, prepare some meals to keep in the freezer for those days when I am too tired to do anything but stick something in the microwave or make a sandwich to eat. One thing I am noticing with people with successful stories is they are planning ahead and one of the tools they do is chopping veggies and such to keep in the fridge. I’m going to try this.
• The above being said. Making yummy drinks full of nutrients in my nutria-bullet. It came with a recipe book idea. Also it is spring and summer so that means more produce will be available. I’m excited.
• With my two caregivers make a meal that we eat and then put away for left overs.
• Pick 3 recipes to try a week
• Practice serving size… buy new measuring spoons and a scale.

I have four goals this month. What are your goals?