Running From Crazy

Mental illness runs in my family. Depression is the culprit. Though depression has many difference faces and has many different disguises I can still pick it out of the line-up. I had a bout of depression. Thankfully, I sought out counseling and received the tools that I needed to help me through. Many don’t get the opportunity. Many decided to commit suicide, some just continue spiraling and never admitting that they need help. Although, I still struggle with many different types of struggles such as not allowing others to show me they care or love me or help me to overeating. I still hang on to the hope that there is help. I discovered the documentary “Running from Crazy” about Mariel Hemmingway and her families story of mental illness. I watched it enthralled. I watched it shaking my head yes to a lot of the things she said. The one being ashamed and scared of my family history of mental illness. Also not knowing how to communicate and interact with my family members who are struggling. Feeling alone, rejected, and even like I had to depend on myself because my family couldn’t take care of me. I felt this way especially when it came to my emotions. I felt like I had to hide how I felt or viewed things because of the severe reactions that have or will take place if I shared something that they disagreed with. I walked on eggshells around a lot of my family members. Alcohol plays a big role in several of my family member’s lives and so does drug abuse. I do not know how to safely communicate with them. How do you show someone with mental illness that you love them and still be your authentic self? Although Mariel Hemmingway didn’t have an answer to this question, but the fact that she is continuing her own authentic journey to her best self gives me a hint. I love that she said her pain and her struggles with her relationship with both of her sisters and her parents. This is an amazing documentary and well worth the time watching. She certainly shed a lot of light on the subject of mental illness and suicide. Check it out.