February, Where did it go?

It’s hard to believe that in a few days March 1^st will be upon us. February has been a strange and challenging month for me. I slide off into the ditch and forgot about my goals. I hated myself for it. I didn’t accomplish all of my goals that I set for February. It was a tough month because I was triggered by a couple of anniversaries. I have come to realize that every February for the last 11 years has left me in this slump. It is time for me to plan for when this happens.

Let me recap what my goals were for February.

• Go thru the recipes in the book by Diane Sanifilippo’s Practical Paleo. (I didn’t. I have come to the conclusion that I needed to do more than go through this book, but actually try out the recipes.)
• Stock up my kitchen with good food choices. (I didn’t do this either. Ugh! I aim to do better in March)
• Probiotics continue taking (Yes, I am taking probiotics. I have noticed a significant change)
• Aquatic therapy start and get a swim suit. (I have not gotten a swim suit yet, and I am still fighting the system between my doctor and the therapy place. They don’t seem to be connecting. I have enlisted the help of my insurances advocate for so I can get this going.)
• Continue organizing my apartment. (I have done this. I have gotten my carpet cleaned. Love it. My cupboards and kitchen are organized. And so is my medical supply shelf in my closet for my trach. I love it. I have amazing help from my nephew Jesse.)

What did I learn this month? I learned a lot. I learned that I don’t surrender well. Small things pop up that I need to surrender to God. I find that difficult. The anniversary of two special people in my life’s passing away will always bring up sadness and anger in me. A plan will be necessary. That means February 2016 I will have a plan in how to handle the emotions of the month. I also learned that though I fell off the path I am on. I can always get right back on it. It’s the small steps that matter. It isn’t the big steps or even the goal itself. It’s the smaller steps that lead me on the path of self-care, nutrition, God, and my relationships. This means I must surrender my emotional attachment to fixing everyone else’s issues. So that I can start focusing on my own relationship with God and with myself. That is my overall mission even with my illness and my weight. It’s a long journey, but the small steps and the small every occurrences make it worth it.