Touching His Robes:Reaching Past the Anger and Shame of Abuse

I am a survivor of abuse. I experienced it with my birth mom and one of her many boyfriends when I was child. I was saved when my mom passed away when I was 13. At 13 I started receiving counseling and finally had the support that I needed. That did not stop me from choosing two abusive men in my life. Both of them were narcissist’s and blamed everyone else for what went wrong with their lives. It was never their fault. They were innocent. I of course was condition to take the blame. So I did. Since I have been away from the abusive relationships I have learned about boundaries. I have built healthy relationships.

In Leslie G. Nelson’s book “Touching His Robes: Reaching Past the Anger and Shame of Abuse” I felt a familiar twinge of recognition as I read this book. Nelson take on forgiveness and healing from the shame and guilt of being the victim of abuse triggered some definite emotions in me, but I also realized that it also triggered a sense of realizing how far I have healed from being that little girl. I was the little girl who took care of everyone else. I was calm, reliable, and responsible. While everyone else fell apart, I am still that way. It is hard for me to break down. It is a challenge to ask for help when I need it. I am now blessed with several people that I feel comfortable enough to ask them for help. This took me a great deal of healing my issues of trust. Trusting males is a huge deal for me. I am thankful that I now have several male doctors that I trust with my care. When I first had my surgery I was nervous.  I was being put to sleep in which I had no control over what they did to me while I was knocked out. That scared me to death. But after several surgeries I now feel trust towards my doctors. They are not trying to hurt.

I recommend this book for anyone who has been abused no matter what kind it was. Abuse is abuse.