Happy Monday!

Happy Monday! I hope everyone had a great Easter weekend. Me, I had a quiet one. I did end up cooking some yummy new dishes and I will be sharing my recipes and what I did with you sometime this week, so stay tuned.

My progress this week went okay. Yes, I went to physical therapy even though I didn’t want to go. I got a few new exercises to do and I am doing them. I am doing two of them that are challenging but I can see the benefit of them. One is the side step with the theraband wrapped around your ankles, also known as the monster walk. I was nervous about doing this exercise because well I am a klutz and I could envision myself falling flat on my face. Not a pretty picture. Thankfully I have not fallen. The other challenging exercise is the pelvic crunch, where you lay flat on your back and lift you but and suck in your tummy at the same time. I can feel it on the back of my legs near my butt muscles. I’m not sure if that is normal so when I go back to physical therapy I will be asking Mike about it and see what he says. My new morning routine includes getting up and doing my physical therapy exercises before I eat breakfast, take my medications, and start drinking a ton of water. The only mornings I don’t do the routine is when I am going to the physical therapist appointment which is once a week. I go on Friday mornings.

I believe the reason I was having a grumpy week was because the week before I got the disappointing news that I have to keep my trach until August. Then the exact opposite happened when I saw my Rheumatologist with him saying to me “you are the reason you are healing.” I think the worse was the compliment because I grew up with abuse in my life. Even with the relationships I had in adult hood especially with men they were critical, judgmental, disrespectful, and cruel and here is a highly educated man seeing my value and seeing that I am worthy. It feels strange. Not only that, but I have been thinking about what will my life look like when I get my trach out? Will it be different? These are all great questions that I realize I need to answer for myself. Right now, my life is quiet. I like it that way. When my life was hectic with drama filled days and nights I was miserable and I believe whole heartedly that it was the reason I got sick. I had to take responsibility for my own actions and step into a realm of peace. No drama, no fighting, no criticisms, no judgments, no rejections, no abandonment, and certainly no roller coaster ride. These last five years in my personal life has been quiet and peaceful. I have been concentrating on my own value. Now, I believe the next step is opening up and not being so guarded with my emotions or expressions of love. I know I still have a lot of soul work to do and the best part is that I will not have to do it alone. Jesus will be there every step of the way.

I will continue to move my body, monster step by monster step. I will drink the water I need to and eat the food I need to. And keep reducing the drama in my life.