When The Blues Hit

I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. I couldn’t figure out why because I had a good week. I am now ready to write the final chapter of my book. I finished writing the introduction of my book yesterday and I got an assignment to read and edit my friend’s book that she is writing on dating and marriage. I am blessed so why have the doldrums possessed my heart. It took me a few minutes to realize what today was. Ten years ago on February 18^th, 2004 my boyfriend, friend, and someone that I cared deeply about that I lived with for ten years passed away. I walked into our bedroom and found him dead. That pivotal moment started me on a new direction. I learned many lessons in the ten years since Rick passed away. I learned that I am stronger than I think I am. I learned that I can endure the death of Rick and then a year later my father and still be able to breathe. I learned that it is okay for me to voice how I am feeling, what I want, and need to those in my life. I also have built and cultivated many relationships. I am not who I once was ten years ago. I was 29 then and now I am 39. Time changed who I am as well as taught me many lessons.

So instead of dwelling on what Valentine’s Day represents to me, death I am going to focus on loving who I am and who I have become by finishing my last chapter of my book and doing the small things that make me happy.