A New Direction!

Personal resilience makes room for big shifts in our lives, and is our greatest ally in our time of extremes. Greg Braden

This Greg Braden quote illustrates a big shift in my life and the resilience that I am using in order to make better choices on my journey. And I had to make a hard decision because of my own physical, mental, and spiritual health regarding my caregiver.

Caregiving is a noble profession. You do a lot of hard work for little pay. Being a caregiver is a dirty job and often times a thankless job. I understand this. I know this from my own personal life and now I know what it is like to have to have a caregiver and how much a caregiver impacts your life. A caregiver and client relationship is intimate. You get to know the ends and outs of each other’s lives, such as medical issues, conditions, and the most private things that make you who you are. So it was with a sad heart that I realized that my current caregiver needed to go.

I kicked, screamed, gritted my teeth, and even pretended that all was well and I could get over this nagging voice in my head and gut, but the truth is I couldn’t. I needed someone in my life who was positive, who didn’t expect me to entertain them, and who wanted to do the job that I needed. I am not a hard client to take care of. I am mostly independent, but I need help with housework, grocery shopping, and cooking, simple things, things that have become difficult for me as I have been sick with Wegener’s.

I took a step and I called my caseworker at the Aging and Disability Agency for Southwest Washington and told her I needed a new caregiver and she gave me the number of a referral agency. Then low and behold my neighbor’s friend needed extra income and then my longtime friend is getting a divorce and needed a job. I had a lot of choices and it was a challenge to decide what it is I wanted.  I decided to employee both my friend and my neighbor’s friend so that my needs will be met and I am helping each of these lovely ladies.

I have always hated confrontation and I am not looking forward to telling my current caregiver that he is no longer working for me but I know that I cannot go on in the negative state that I am in right now. I know it is bad when I don’t even want him to come in because I know it will cause me even more issues. Heck, when he comes in, he sits down and then nags me to play board games with him and entertain him while things are left undone. Part of my goals for 2014 is to have a clean sanctuary for my health and peace of mind and getting rid of someone who brings me down is the first step towards this goal. The best part is all of the support I am receiving from my family and friends whom some of them didn’t even like him or think he was doing his job either. That helps me make a better choice for my own well-being. I am blessed.