I started reading “God’s Gonna Make You Laugh” by Noel Jones a few months back. I have picked it up read a few chapters and set it back down, because I had to truly process everything that Jones writes. I wasn’t convinced at first what he writes about God having a plan and a purpose for me, that he made me a promise. I don’t remember God ever making me a promise. I often times feel like I fly by the sit of my pants and just go through my life clumsily following a path that just exists for me. I never had the aha moment from God where he says “Jamie, do you hear me, lady? I have an assignment for you. I know what you must do. I promise you wealth, health, and all your dreams coming true.”. I have had friends in my life who have visions from God on what they are supposed to do. One of my friends started her own media company and also an outreach called Living Ministries to help build relationships in her community. She had a vision from God that this is her calling, it may not be easy, but see is still loyally, beautifully, and lovingly pursuing this vision though the road is often times rocky, especially with committee members who are ill and don’t always show up. When she told me she had this vision, I thought, “I have never had a vision, I have never had a promise from God, why is mine?” Yes, I admit it, I had a selfish moment. I had a moment where I thought where is mine? Why am I not getting the visions, the promises from God?
Reading Jones books, I realize that God speaks to us differently. Some of us he will have the burning bush moments and some of us will have those small whispers, those quiet challenges in life that will direct and lead us to where we need to be. I haven’t had a burning bush moment, I haven’t been suddenly struck with lightening with a vision of this is your assignment Jamie and I will direct you.
My challenge, my obstacles lies in the fact that I have been an outsider to my family, friends, and community. I always have been This is a gift and this is also something that has hurt me deeply in the past, but I have learned that this is one of those amazing gifts and character qualities that God has given me so that I can do what my assignment is. My friends and the friends of the past always came to me to listen and to give them a new perspective even if it pissed them off, but they knew I would be there for them no matter what time of night or day it was. The only thing that I know more today than I did yesterday is in the way I tell them my thoughts and insights. In the past, I have been overly aggressive, overly ego based in my bluntness and that I know this is the truth, even if you don’t want to see it. I realize, I can’t be the hammer lady anymore. I have to let people know what they know when they know it and if it isn’t at the same time as I do, then I have to smile, let it go, pray, and love them anyway and often times through their own trials. Jesus does this to me continually. I am a strong will, opinionated, stubborn woman and God knows this and he lets me experience my challenges though He knows better. I am not always able to stand by and let people know what they know, sometimes I slip, but I also have the power to say I am sorry, I love you, and please forgive me and let them be who they are.
Back to “God’s Gonna Make you Laugh”, yes, I go on tangents and I speak my mind, but I still can get to the point. My promise from God will not be the same as my sisters, brother, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, friends, or even my cats. God shares with me the way he knows I can hear him best. He also allows me to be who I am fully and with love for me and he allows me to do the assignment when I am ready to. Sometimes, a person is not ready when they are first inspired. Ever since I was a young lady I dreamed about becoming a therapist, a counselor. I saw myself encouraging and uplifting people. I saw myself sharing my story, sharing my knowledge, sharing my writing, but I thought it was streaming from me and not from God. I was wrong. God created a woman who despite being rejected by her own mother, her birth family, lovers, and many, many peoples a desire to encourage and love people anyway. I realized that tonight while I was talking to one of my neighbors about all the musical equipment and collections of music I had in my possession at one time and I let it go, I gave it away, sold it for cheap, and I blessed many with what I owned at one time. I could have had a lot of money in my pocket, and yes, I have made some poor choices, but I also realize that I was able to bless many by making the choices I did. For that, I cannot regret my choices or become bitter by them. I choose to be able to see that I am a blessing, even if that person did not or does not appreciate it at all.
My promise is still the same, though the road to my assignment looks different than I envisioned it as a young woman. It is still the same, it still is important. I still am in pursuit of this vision and yes, it was not a burning bush moment and more like a whisper and a nudge I can now see that I have my own promise and I have my own assignment and I am blessed that I know many who have their own promised and visions from God and are pursing them with love, grace, and excitement and appreciation.
I guarantee if you read “God’s Gonna Make You Laugh” by Noel Jones you will have your own insightful perspectives on your own journey and you will be encouraged and blessed by this book.
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