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I have been dealing with my weight all my life. I was an obese kid and teenager. I gained even more weight when I moved out and lived with my boyfriend. When he passed away I was a whopping 400 pounds. I started losing weight, because he too was obese and died from complications and I watched him suffer and I didn’t want that same fate. I started losing weight. I got down to 275 pounds then I started getting sick and my breathing became difficult as time went on and I stagnated. Then once they figured out what was wrong with me, I have a Vasculitis disease called Wegener’s that affects me ten centimeters from my voice box and causes me to wear a trach. With the medications I have to take I can gain upwards of 30 pounds of water weight in a matter of days. I felt so depressed and I thought why am I eating healthy when I will just gain weight like that? I have eaten myself into oblivion and it shows. As time as gone on I have realized my weight needs to be under control not just because I want to look good, but because I want to be healthy so I can accomplish my goals and live an abundant life. I now weigh 335 pounds, yikes; I feel so much shame when I say this number tonight when I weighed myself for the Sisterhood challenge.

I found the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans website through another blog I read and I decided you know what it is time to get my weight under control and have a healthy life that I have always wanted.  I do use my fitness pal and I have joined another Facebook group that holds each other accountable for that you are eating. I need these things. Believe me I can eat and I do eat a lot. Sometimes I don’t realize this as I am stuffing my face. I do know that I eat for emotional reasons. I do admit I am frustrated with my life. I do admit that I am not sure what I am doing most of the time.

I am looking forward to September 18th when the challenge is over and see where I am at with my weight and my movement. I am using this as a jumping off place to get me going again and these exercises seem easy to do, though I have to admit I am a bit challenged. This morning while I was doing the crunches my chest, yes, I am well-endowed in the chest area, kept hitting my trach cutting of my ability to let my air out. If you are not familiar with the trach, which I have, it works like this. Air comes in through the nose and mouth, but escapes out the neck in the stoma where a metal trach is placed. I am not sure what I can do about this, perhaps I can tape down my boobs because my sports bra is not helping me at all. That is the only obstacle I have encountered. If you have a thought or a suggestion please share and I will try it. My next update will be next Tuesday, let’s see what progress I am making then.

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