I have not written anything for Jamie Chases Butterflies for a couple of days. I have been resting. The end of last week became a busy time period for me. Despite my chemo treatment on Wednesday I went to and finished my SOAR training. I am happy about this. I believe this is a step up for me in being able to help a person which is something I was born to do.
One of the themes of SOAR training was recovery. While listening to the speakers I kept reverting to this theme in my mind. Getting on disability is not a shameful thing. It is a step towards recovery. When you don’t have your basic needs met, food, shelter, and medical care then how do you thrive. I want to thrive and I know many others who want to thrive to, but they allow shame to dictate what steps they will take towards recovery. When you are sick, no matter what kind of sickness asking and receiving help is not a shameful thing. I know that in our society we are made to believe that if we cannot do it on our own, work towards our goals then we are lazy bums who take advantage of the system. Though I know some who do take advantage of the system, I know many others who do not. I am one of those individuals who does not. Though my goals is to one day have a job, I also know that I have limitations in being able to have a job. And I also know that I am not alone in this. I get my SSDI and I also get food stamps because right now living with my breathing issues (trach and a throat that likes to close up) having a full time job is not something I am able to do right now, but someday I hope to change that. In the meantime I get help so that I can have a place to live, medical care, and food to eat. I don’t abuse the system. I don’t spend my food stamps on anything too frivolous. I buy vegetables and meat and like it or not the food stamps I receive don’t cover a whole month’s worth of groceries and so sometimes I got to food banks to help me extend what I have in my pantry and fridge. I am not ashamed of this. Why should I be? I need shelter, food, and medical care just like the rest of American citizens. When I was able to have a job, I worked hard, but now with my disease working is not an option. Why should I be made to feel ashamed of this fact?
To me, because I know a few people in my life who are homeless feel ashamed in asking for help and receiving help. They feel judged, condemned, and guilty of receiving help. But if you look at it as an opportunity to recover from so that one can be on the road to health then perhaps, we can get more people off the streets and help people get the medical attention they need. I am not ashamed of the fact that I receive SSDI and medical benefits to help me on my journey to health and if you do or haven’t yet, then you shouldn’t be ashamed either.