Today was supposed to be the start date of my Whole 9 eating plan. Guess what? I failed. You might be asking me why is a tough chick like me who can handle broken thoraxes, trach care, and other amazing medical adventures not able to start and commit to an eating plan. Well, my excuse today I am tired. This isn’t the normal tired, this is pure exhaustion. You see a week after getting my infusion that is when it hits me like a ton of bricks and I just want easy and convenient I don’t care about the nutrition content which is not doing my body any good. So my caregiver went and got me a Papa Murphy’s pizza and even though I had one piece, it means that I did not start off the day correctly and probably won’t end the day the way I want to.

I do have to give myself credit. I did start writing my food down in a notebook so that I can use myfitnesspal. Hey if you want to hook up and encourage each other you can find me under jjhbeautiful. The reason I am writing it down in my notebook is because I don’t have a fancy phone that has all those apps. I have the old fashion phone that can only text and make phone calls. I like basic. Too much stuff on the phone drives me bonkers so I went back to the basic. Though I do miss not using the myfitnesspal app that I used to have but now I have to write it down and when I go down to the TV room I can input my information into the website. At least I am not too far into the dark ages, right?  Sorry, Kathryn and other ladies that I am part of the group with, today was not the day for me to start. Tomorrow with a lot of prayer and water I will start this new routine.

One thing I am learning on my journey is that it is okay when I fail. Heck I am still the magnificent woman that I am even when I fall flat on my face. I am capable of brushing off the crumbs of failure and start over again. Shame does not need to be my pal anymore.

Today I was looking at my list of things I will be sharing with my therapist on Friday. He had me write a list of things I could do to build my endurance. Admittedly I don’t have a huge list, but that is because my imagination is spent on other things at the moment. He was going to be making his own list and then we were going to compare notes and talk about it. I am actually looking forward to this next session on Friday. Improvements in health don’t have to be this big showy thing, small increments is all that is required. I learned that my hallway in my apartment building is exactly 2 city blocks long. I could just start off walking this, now if I had someone to kick my butt into high gear. I have been reading other fitness blogs lately, women who are like me, the only difference is their motivation stems from their children. They want to be around for them, I appreciate that. I don’t have children and I don’t see this aspect changing anytime soon so what exactly is my motivation? I have been thinking long and hard on this and when I come to a motivational reason to step forward into my health I will share, right now I have a huge mesh posh of reasons that don’t make any sense to anyone else but me.

I am long winded today, if you have read this long post go get an apple and reward yourself. Thank you for sticking with me on this journey of mine. I am moving forward just not as fast and I failed but I am capable of getting back up. Remember that no matter how many times you fall flat on your butt you can always get back up and do it again differently. We are awesome like that.