For the last 3 to 4 days I have been fighting a bout of insomnia, causing me not to want to do my rehab on Monday. I hate when this happens. This woman loves her sleep and she does not feel like herself without it.
Despite feeling this way I went ahead and called to schedule an ENT appointment since my stoma has been bothering me for the last few weeks. When it starts hurting when I slide the trach in I know there is an issue and it must be addressed. I am schedule to see my ENT on Friday. This means 3 days this week I will be making trips to the doctor. Thankfully I can do this without bothering anyone for a ride. That feels good to me. I have a sense of independence that way. I know that I have family and even friends who are willing to take me to the doctor and to pulmonary rehab, but it feels nice to be able to get there on my own again even if I don’t drive there myself. Independence is valuable to me. Since my illness began I have lost my ability to be fully independent so it is nice to have some of it coming back even if it is just going to the doctor. I have gained an appreciation for the small things in my life and this is one of those.
Pulmonary rehab went well. I met some amazing ladies, who are much older than me, but who are just as stubborn as I am. We swapped ideas and one of them even loaned me a book to read. While there, I did 17:35 of the Nuride bike and then 10 minutes of stretching. I came home with a list of Armercise exercises and stretching exercises I can do at home when I am not at rehab. They even had a spoke’s person to share about oxygen and trach care, a review never hurts. While there, I focused on a big red heart that was on the wall and said to myself “I am doing this because I love my body, I love me, and I am worth fighting for”. During the 17:35 I had to stop a total of 5 times to get my breath and I am learning how to slow down and stop when I feel my heart racing. I am happy about that, though I feel bangs of shame for being in this predicament. While there my blood pressure started at 141 over 46 and when I left my blood pressure was 110 over 43. That means to me that the 17 minutes on the bike and 10 minutes of stretching did my body good. One thing that made my day was when I found a crown on the bench while I was waiting for my ride. It isn’t a rule jeweled crown it is one of those plastic ones, but still it made me feel good to put it on. Another thing that gave me a jolt to fight on is when one of the therapist said to me I have worked with trach patients before and I can hear you clearly and that is so remarkable. I am blessed; God has blessed me with a strong voice. All steps in the fight for me and continuing my journey. What did you do today to love your body?
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