Offline

I was offline for four days due to the Internet being down that my apartments offer. One of the maintenance crew accidentally did something to the router and screwed things up when he was moving things around to get ready to paint. Life sure happens, doesn’t it?  It is frustrating, but I chose to do other things in the meantime. What does one do without Internet?

I read a great book. “The Painted Drum” by Louise Erdrich which I found at my apartments giveaway table some time ago. It is a fiction book, but is so full of Native American history. I enjoyed reading the stories of Faye and Bernard.

Then I tried my hand at “Power Yoga” which I had a difficult time doing many of the poses but I did the best that I could. The part I enjoyed the deep breathing and learning to breathe into the moves of the poses and such. The ones that required me to sit on my knees or do some interesting steps I did not do. As I get stronger physically and the weight comes off I believe I will be able to do them. Not only did I do Yoga, but also I jumped on my trampoline for 3 minutes. My heart still races high, but not as high as it used to. I know now that I must keep moving no matter how silly I feel or how uncomfortable I become. I must keep moving and breathing in order to live the life I want.

Then of course, I did household chores, at least the ones I felt comfortable in doing without being worn out. I still want my independence and even though I have a caregiver to help me out, I just want to be able to do some things on my own, such as washing dishes. I also cooked. I roasted a whole chicken and then with the left overs I added rice and the drippings and the chicken into the crockpot for meals for those days when I am tired. One exciting thing that happened, while I was melting butter in my microwave an explosion happened. No, I didn’t get hurt, but it scared the crap out of me and my cat. I no longer have a microwave and so part of my time was cleaning up that mess and putting the microwave next to the door for the garbage.

As for my trip to Longview, I enjoyed it. I also got the minute notes done to be published by our Executive Director for Living Ministries.  I enjoyed visiting with my mom, sisters, and even one of my nephews and eating a great dinner with them. I sat in my old bedroom. I felt so strange sitting in there and remembering my time in my room. The looks have changed and so has the function. It is now my sister Joy’s office. My mom had it for her office after I moved out and then it became a storage room. Amazing how time changes things not only in people but in environments.

Another thing I did while in Longview was rip some CD’s that I used to own or have from my dear friend. She still had some of them from when I gave away a ton of the CDs that once belonged to my Rick before he died in 2004. During 2004 and 2005 a whole lot of turbulence was happening in my life. I had a 5 bedroom house that was chalk full of junk from a hoarder who not only loved anything but seemed to want to keep even the garbage so he can have something to hold onto. I gave tons of music away to my friends and family and then what was left over I had a huge garage sale in which I did make some money from. Then with the leftovers I gave it to a guy that I just met. I cleaned house from top to bottom, but the negative energy still reigned throughout and so I sold the house and moved. I don’t regret any of it, but there were a few pieces of music that I wished I still had and I was so happy to see that my friend had some of those. I even burned an Elvis Cd she had; she didn’t get that from me. She bought it herself. That one Elvis Cd did bring back some memories for me, happy and bad ones. I noticed that while I was listening to Elvis I didn’t feel so apt in wanting to punch or kick every aspect of what I had out of my life. I also didn’t want to scream or cry. I do like some of Elvis’ songs and the reason I didn’t listen to him for nine years was because of the memories of someone that I loved at one time and who was a negative impact in my life and all those heartbreaking elements into one man’s voice who has been dead for over 30 years now. All I know is that I am healing. I am moving forward.