Seeds

Please read Luke 8:5-15
“Those along the traveled road are the people who have heard; then the devil comes and carries away the message out of their hearts, that they may not believe (acknowledge Me as their Savior and devote themselves to Me) and be saved. And those upon the rock (are the people) who, when they hear (the word), receive and welcome it with joy; but these have no root. They believe for a while, and in time of trial and temptation fall way (withdraw and stand aloof). And as for what fell among the thorns, these are the people who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked and suffocated with the anxieties and cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not ripen (come to maturity and perfection). But as for that seed in the good soil, these are the people who, hearing the word, hold it fast in a just noble virtuous and worthy heart, and steadily bring forth fruit with patience.” Luke 8:12-15

In April 2011 I did a workshop called Heart Design with House of Myrrh Ministries and we read this verse and did an exercise that caused me to doubt myself and wonder why I am doing this.

Eight months later, as I have grown and planted many seeds the actual depth of this scripture is making sense to me. I am going to personalize this, in no means am I projecting my feeling or insights onto anyone else. Verses 12-15 touched home especially. Here is why, I have been on the rock, I have been on the road, I have been in the thorns, and now I am in healthy, strong, nurturing soil. When I was on the rock, my roots were weak, pale, and did not go deep into where I needed to be. I put my trust and circumstances in others beliefs, actions, and I was tempted. I was then uprooted and tossed out into the ocean of the dark abyss flailing to survive. Then I planted some seeds in amongst the thorns, bitter people who are excited that things are going well, but when a chaotic thing happens or some painful thing happens they say to God and to anyone else involved pardon my French “fuck you”. I have done that, but then I decided that was not for me.

Then I started toiling in healthy dark soil that nurtured me. The chaos of past relationships was gone out of my life. I didn’t deal with negative, drama filled people anymore. I at first felt out of sorts, but slowly I started relishing in the fact that God walked every step that I took with me, even if I was throwing hissy fits at Him. He still stood by me. I started planting the seeds of joy, good health, relationship with God and others, trust, reliance, and endurance. By no means have I perfected anything, but I am better than I was. I still have a lot of seeds to plant and a lot of growth to endure. I only know that I am now in healthy soil and I love it.