“Give up being a pessimist. Give up thinking life owes you anything. Give up being lazy and wishing things were easier all the time. In short, give up wishing your life were other than the way it is and do something with the life you have.”
Carolyn Myss
Time for me to start making a hard decision about where I want my life to go and how I want to change it, I have many choices that I can make, but making it and sticking to it is another matter altogether. The biggest obstacle is the inflammation that is wreaking havoc on my body. Right now my right arm is swollen up, not as big as it has been, but big enough that I do notice a difference. It annoys me, it causes a deep seeded fear inside of me that I am not getting better things are getting worse and what is the use of maintaining a healthy uncomplicated lifestyle with no drama, no stresses, and eating better. I feel myself gravitating towards jumping in a big pool of junk food to ease my suffering, but I know deep down inside that is not the answer or the choice I want to make. Where does this lead me to?
It all starts with an amazing woman that I know who is a photographer and is on her own journey. For different reasons only known to her she wants to lose weight too. She has already lost a significant amount and I am so inspired by her. What did I do? I asked her questions. I asked her what she is doing and she told me that she is using myfitnesspal. Well I have a myfitnesspal account that I have not used in months and months and she is also reducing her calories. Nothing different than I already know from my own research on nutrition and that all a person needs is 1500 calories a day and I know I go way over that. Alright so I am being lead to believe it is time for me to get back to the basics of what I know has worked before. Keeping track of what I am sticking in my mouth, drinking a ton of water, and moving, simple, right? Why it is that something so simple can cause me so much grief? I have become friends with my friend on myfitnesspal and we will encourage each other to fight on. I realize that I have to do things a bit different than the average healthy woman. I have to move slow, eat differently, but we can know each other’s goals and encourage each other to move past the doubts, the beasts of temptations, and when we fall we can say hey that is not the end of the world get back on that horse.
I already logged in for one day and I am going to continue to log in. I am going to publically announce my weight and that includes the 35 pounds I have gained in the last two days due to the inflammation. I weight 326 and I want to be at 165. That is my end goal.
I know this is the correct choice, because while I was counting the calories and eating the vegetables, beans, and super foods I was supposed to and limiting the amount of cheese I ate I lost weight and my inflammation went down. What does that tell me? That I have to go back to that way of eating and living by learning to cook the vegetables I need to eat and craving the foods that are good for me. I also must find other things to do instead of eating my boredom and feelings. I do that a lot. In fact, that is what caused me to get off my eating plan, that and numerous temptations.
If you have myfitnesspal, look me up let’s be friends and encourage each other. My user name is jjhbeautiful.