Finally I am taking on the challenge of nutrition. I have been putting of this subject simply because of all the conflicting information out there. I have no idea what the right answer is. All I know for sure is that drinking soda, eating chips, pizza, and all that junk food does not do the body good. At least not my body, I can’t speak for anyone else. That is not saying that those things don’t taste good, but what does it do for the body? Other than give a temporary hormone of happiness for the addict or non-addict of food. And it is convenient too, right? It is so easy to grab the bag of chips or microwave any convenient food item and then eat. I do it because I am exhausted. Especially lately, and chopping up vegetables, standing in the kitchen stirring or cooking something takes so much energy from this woman. The reason I am even processing this whole thing stems from my negative thoughts. “All my reading, research, and knowledge about my disease, nutrition, eating, and self-healing is worthless to be because I don’t follow through or make a decision.” I talked to my therapist today about my negative thoughts. He gave me an assignment of writing down all my negative thoughts that was easy, now I am onto writing my responses to them that contradict those thoughts that it is worthless.

In reality I know what my body needs. I do read a lot about nutrition, recipes, about what food does to the body, what kind of food I need to eat, and that movement helps the body with inflammation. It is just putting it into practice; it is weeding through all the conflicting reports and opinions. I was sharing my negative thought with Timothy and he asked me a question: “When will you decide that it is good enough” meaning when will I decided that what I know is good enough I don’t have to know everything before I can make a decision. Nutrition information changes all the time, if I keep waiting until it is PERFECT before making a decision to take a step towards healthy than I will never make that decision.

So here I go with my decision making skills, I feel it is time to take a huge step forward towards my health. This morning I started my moving with my stretch band that looks like licorice that I got from my physical therapist. I also got out my Qi Gong healing DVD that I bought for when I am able to move. I know that I am not doing it perfectly, but at least I am making progress. I already moved with the stretch band and I plan on watching the DVD before doing any of the moves, so I am deciding to do the DVD tomorrow after my stretches with the band. Meaning that twice a day I will do some form of movement. With the stretch band exercises it only takes me 15 minutes to do them. I basically have to hook the stretch band to the door and pull on it in two different positions and then I have to lift my legs, so it does not take long. Small steps for me, since I have been inactive for a long period of time it is advised that I move slowly to build up my stamina again. I have a Yoga DVD that I bought also, but I don’t feel strong enough at this time to do any of the exercises, but I am not tossing it out. I will be able to Yoga once I am stronger and have been moving for a while. Baby steps, right?

As for the nutrition/food aspect of my journey I will continue to read and research things, especially in the recipe department, but I am not going to beat myself up if I am not turning Vegan or Vegetarian or go gluten free or carb free or whatever eating plan someone else is going on. Everyone’s body is different and food treats the body different and what works for one doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for me. As for the supplement aspect, I am still figuring that one out. I have a whole host of supplements I want to take, but the problem is not the confusion. It is where is the money going to come from for me to purchase the things I should be taking to combat my inflammation and help my disease? Good question, I have not figured it out yet and I don’t have a generous benefactor who will donate the supplements to me. I do take folic acid and I do take Vitamin D and I believe taking these two have helped me immensely with my disease. I am almost out of them both and I am not sure where the money will come from in order to get more. Prayers about this would be much appreciated. As for eating differently, illuminating junk out of my diet. That is difficult, because sometimes I want chips or a soda, which I know is horrible for me, but I still want them. I am not sure if it is an emotional thing or what it is that is an obstacle for me to kick those two things to the curb, but I am moving forward by knowing and accepting it isn’t good for me and knowing that I want them, but the action part is the problem. Baby steps, breathe, right? My decision is to keep moving forward towards illuminating the chips and soda, but not beat myself to death if I indulge. That does me no good.