Today I decided to do the second easy section of my assignment which concerns Health/Physical Well-being. I have spent years ruminating over my health, so it probably comes to no surprise to anyone that I have goals and it was easy for me. My value statement that I wrote out consist of: Being in balance in order to be healthy.
I do have to admit that even though I know what is healthy nutritionally and physically. I see myself not achieving much in this area, due to my ever changing health circumstances and emotional eating. I read books on nutrition, such as: “The Power Of Self-Healing” by Fabrizio Mancini, “The Amen Solution” by Dr. Daniel Amen, and the one I am now reading “Shades Of Hope” by Tennie McCarty. I have read many more, check out my good reads website and you will see that most of the books I read consist of health, spiritual growth, and psychological growth. That is my main focus; I want a balance of health in my life. Several tragic events started me on this fascination of getting healthy in all areas of my life.
Eight years ago after watching someone that I love deeply pass away from morbid obesity and diabetes complications I vowed to change my nutrition habits and get my own weight off. I weighed in at a whopping 397 pounds and I did not want the same fate as my beloved. That being said I lost ninety seven pounds and I have not gained an ounce of what I lost, but I have not been able to lose anymore due to my Vasculitis disease and the medications that I have to take. Predisone has a fall out of water weight gain among other side effects that making losing weight challenging. I did a lot of research during this eight year period and I am always reading and researching about nutrition in order to take care of my body even with this dreaded disease I have. I fail sometimes, especially at my weak moments when I do not feel up to cooking and the easy convenience foods were so much easier to just grab and also my finances predicted what I could buy, or so I thought. To be honest, I fail a lot especially recently. Yes, I have this knowledge in my head, but having it in my heart to where I am going to actually follow it is another story. Well, yesterday, I saw Timothy my therapist and last week he gave me a Value’s worksheet to work on with these sections which I balked at, because well there are a few of them I do not want to even think about because that means I have to do a lot of work and be honest with myself, which I find I have a difficult time doing. To admit to myself that I am a failure is a tough thing and causes a lot of deep rooted shame in my soul and like it or not I don’t want to face it sometimes. Now the time has come to where I need to face my eating, how I use food as a medicator, how I even know that I should be eating more vegetables but instead choose chips, soda, or even sweet things. And when I have asked for reminders from family and even friends and they actually do it I get pissed at them.
The goals I am aiming for in order for me to gain balance will be:
1) Take all my medications on a regular basis and in a timely matter.
2) Go to doctor appointments even if I am facing surgery.
3) Food: eat more vegetables, 3 times a day either eat them or juice them to drink. NO sodas at all, drink water instead.
4) Use my crockpot more for make ahead meals, so that when I am tired I can put them in the freezer and reheat.
5) Drink eight glasses or more of water daily. Take advantage of my bright green water bottle.
6) Use the yoga DVD I have in my possession 3 times a week until I can get a personal trainer, bicycle, and hoola hoop. And do some form of exercise to build stronger muscles for my upcoming dissection surgery.
7) Continue researching recipes, Vasculitis disease, medications, exercises, and other health related things.
8) Keep a food journal so that I know what I am eating each day, so I am mindful of what I am eating.
9) Take my trach out every week and clean it even if it is a difficult thing to reinsert it back in right now because of my throat constricting again.
I am sure as I get better about doing each of these things I will be changing my goals regularly.
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