Family relationships are the topic for my post today. Yes, you guess it, the third installment of my assignment from my therapist. Being open, supportive, loyal is my definition of family. At least that is what I aspire to be as a sister, daughter, aunt, niece and cousin to my expanding family. I have a unique family. Not all my family members are blood related to me, but that doesn’t mean they are not my family.
My birth mom passed away when I was thirteen and then I went to live with the Coon family and now they are a big part of my family dynamic. Though at times I felt like I was not part of any family at all, even with my birth family, I felt like the black sheep. But after July 20, 2010 when I had my disastrous first time in the hospital the first time I came close to dying. That one experienced changed how I view my family and relationships. Why it changed is that my mom, actually my second mom stayed and held my hand and I remember her being there. Then my sister Carri told me that mom did not want to leave. Talk about feeling a mothers love, hearing, experiencing, feeling, and accepting love from all my families is the key that has opened me up to the changes that I am facing now with my Vasculitis disease.
My goals for family relations include:
1) Call Kris and Rob my brother and sister in law to see how they are doing during the week and not just call for rides to doctor appointments or to take me to surgery.
2) Call, text, email Carri, my sister once a week to check in to see how she is doing in caring for our mom.
3) Arrange a lunch or dinner date with Kris and Carri, my sisters once a month to build our relationship.
4) Call Vickie, my sister once a week to see how she is doing and build our relationship.
5) Write Joy, my sister an email once a week to check in with her.
6) Talk to Carri, my sister about coming down to Longview once a month with Kris to take mom to lunch and give Carri a couple of hours to herself until Rob and Kris get their kitchen usable again and they can take mom for the weekend like before.
7) Write Ric, my nephew a letter to give to him when he is ready to hear me and accept what I have to say in order to establish and rebuild our relationship.

The Coon Clan a month before my dad passed in 2005

My sister and I the summer of 2008 when she came for a visit from Alabama

My nephew Ric and I when we were teenagers. We’ve always had a rocky relationship, made worse in 2009 when I moved in with his wife and him and discovered some truths.

My sister Vickie and her son Ric my nephew.